Being a parent to an angel baby comes with lots of anxiety, depression, and guilt.

I have always suffered from anxiety, depression and bipolar but losing a child let alone 6 really pushes you over the edge. There are days where I am so happy and energized and then there are other days where I can't even leave my room. It is a constant battle of mood swings, guilt, jealousy, angriness, sadness, and just every emotion you can imagine. I was prescribed medication finally after years of being undiagnosed and it helps but I still have my moments.

My biggest thing is the guilt. It is so hard to be a mom of an angel baby and not feel guilty. I feel like I don't deserve to feel like I lost a child because it was never brought into this world, I feel like I have no right to be so down and depressed, I feel like the days I can't leave my room I am such a failure, and all of those feelings make me feel even more guilty. My anxiety is through the roof most days and sadness comes and goes. But the guilt doesn't leave me.

One of the biggest reasons I wanted to start a local support group is so we can all come together and share these feelings and let each other know we are not alone and it is perfectly normal to feel these ways. So many people try to understand but unless you have personally gone through it it's impossible to understand. I want everyone to feel it's ok to have those extreme days of sadness or depression and it's perfectly normal to feel happy and energized. I want us to build a team that anyone of us would feel comfortable calling, texting, or messaging any one of us on those bad days and know you won't feel judged.

Thank you for being a part of my journey and I can't wait to do a in person meeting. If you ever want to talk please feel free to reach out to me via email, my Facebook group page, messenger, or if you know me in person. I am always here to listen, hold you when you cry, let you scream or throw things, or just to sit in silence and be there.